“The key finding here was that the influence of poverty on how parents communicated with their children was explained by how much the parents knew about child development,” she says. I visited several sites in Philadelphia – including at a bus stop, as well as a playground at a library and at human-sized board games in Philadelphia’s Please Touch children’s museum – where Hirsh-Pasek and her team are trying another approach. When you treat your child with respect and kindness, you'll strengthen your bond. And though the games are geared towards children, they were remarkably fun for us adults too. Everyday Habits and Practices That Can Help Kids Become Good People, 8 Ways to Effectively Manage Sibling Fighting and Rivalry. Even if there's a disagreement or you need to correct something your child is doing, a gentle voice, even if it's firm, is likely to get more of your child's attention and she'll be more likely to listen to what you are saying. For child development, back-and-forth conversation – not merely passive hearing – is what matters most (Credit: Getty Images). But socioeconomic status isn’t determinism. By communicating back and forth with your child in a warm and gentle way, you’re creating and sharing experiences together. Talk Why am I doing this? Neil Postman. But studies show that some parents still do not speak to their children much, and that this can have lasting negative consequences – consequences even visible in the brain. Show your child you are interested in what they are saying. In other words, their brains “become coupled together”, explains Elise Piazza of the Princeton University Neuroscience Institute, the lead author of the work. It starts to feel easier when they become more responsive, but it still didn’t come naturally to me to “coo” in response to my baby’s gurgles, or speak in “baby-ese” with big, loud, slow vowel sounds. Melissa Hogenboom is the editor of BBC Reel. by Valerie Foo (9672 views) Rating: (1) | Rate this: Estimated reading time: 1.5 minutes . Instead it is the quality of the conversation that is important. “That’s not a coincidence,” she says. In the first 10 to 12 months you will notice as a parent how your baby moves their head to you speaking and often responds by smiling at you and moving their arms and legs. When you yell or speak aggressively to your child, you're less likely to get good results and may even harm your relationship. I’m such an idiot! [1] The majority of parents resort to yelling, screaming, or simply raising their voices when they are trying to get a message through to their child who is acting out. But it is now clear that subtle tweaks in how we speak to children – and how we listen – can literally grow their brains for the better. Here are some important reasons why your tone of voice and the words you use can make your parent-child communication and interactions much more positive and rewarding. If this “word gap” does exist, it is problematic because language is known to be one of the most important predictors of how you are going to do later in life, from your earliest school years to university and in turn, your career. So, embrace the teachable moment, even if you feel awkward or embarrassed about it. Even if Hart and Risley’s study wasn’t perfect, the idea that a significant socioeconomic gap exists has been replicated by dozens of studies. But even so, now I know that his brain may well be growing because of it, something all of us, whether parents or caregivers, can play a crucial part in. Fortunately, there are other simple, tried-and-tested ways that help encourage more quality conversations. Conversation runs out quickly when talking to a newborn. Depending on the conversations these infants hear from a young age, they may go on to have very different lives (Credit: Getty Images). Romeo’s team went one step further in a small follow-up study that helped parents understand the importance of turn-taking conversations. Psychologist shows why talking to kids really matters Date: February 13, 2014 Source: Stanford University Summary: Exposure to child-directed … I would often look in awe as other, seemingly more parental types, would have whole conversations with my baby. At the same time, those early weeks are shrouded in a cloud of exhaustion. Top tips for talking with your child: Talk to your child when you’re playing together. Say "Thank you" and "Please" when you speak to your child, and firmly explain that you expect him to do the same. Say "Thank you" and "Please" when you speak to your child, and firmly explain that you expect him to do the same. Child Dev. Most kids talk nonstop when they’re in preschool. That is, the back and forth, turn-taking nature that requires listening and responding. This study was far from ideal. Talking Too Much. Both factors mean the quality of conversations can suffer. Why the way you speak to your child matters. She is @melissasuzanneh on Twitter. Would your voice sound patient and loving? In other words, “parenting knowledge” contributes positively to vocabulary development, says Rowe. Amusing Ourselves to Death. Later on, she’ll coo, smile, laugh, make more sounds and move her body to communicate with you. This includes responding to babies coos and cries with spoken language. Having conversations about nothing in particular is an excellent way to help your child learn how to express his emotions and for you to truly get to know that wonderful person who is your child. It was in the mid-1990s that a worrying discovery was made about a stark difference in language achievement in children. I’d you treat your children respectfully, they would also agree. increases meaningful conversation by as much as 33%. One group, led by Rachel Romeo, a neuroscientist and speech language pathologist at Boston Children’s Hospital, showed that conversational interactions can have a visible benefit on brain development. Complications. Imagine it: a polite teen who knows how to express herself in a respectful manner! If you liked this story, sign up for the weekly bbc.com features newsletter, called “The Essential List”. In positive terms seemingly more parental types, would have whole conversations with my baby related project online, simple. Babies coos and cries with spoken language encourage more quality conversations with a toothless grin not as two people but. ) Rating: ( 1 ) | Rate this: Estimated reading time: 1.5 minutes sure they good... Better, with long-lasting benefits adults Alike November 15, 2018 January 21 2016! 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